11 May 2020

10 ways to overcome depression

6 May 2020

Living under lockdown in Spain during COVID-19

Living under lockdown in Spain during COVID-19 has been hard. The strict national lockdown lasted for almost 7 weeks. For 47 days we were unable to leave our homes, unable to see our friends and family, and unable to exercise. Now, it is May 6th: Day 5 of being able to exercise outside and Day […]

27 Apr 2020

The Importance of Combatting Loneliness during the COVID-19 Era

21 Apr 2020

Self-forgiveness: 5 things to remember

Depression is frustrating. Why? Unlike a broken arm, depression is an internal battle, and you’re its only witness. There’s no one there to validate your illness and there’s no physical evidence to prove that you’re sick. To make matters worse, depression doesn’t have a single set of symptoms. Typical symptoms associated with depression, like being […]

3 Jan 2020

Writing About Depression

26 Oct 2019

Studying for the LSAT: How I stayed motivated

31 Aug 2019

My Review on Betterhelp – an online counseling service

Hi there! A lot has changed and happened in the past few months. Between making life changing decisions and rearranging my personal priorities (all of which I’ll get into in my future posts), I have been MIA on my blog. After so many months of LSAT and law school preparation, I needed to decide where […]

7 Mar 2019

My second year in Spain as an Auxiliar, Malaga Edition

Hi there! As some of you know, last year I worked as an English Language Assistant (or an Auxiliar) in Granada, Spain. I was living in Granada for nine months, between September and June. From the beginning of my stay in Granada, I knew that I’d be delaying law school for another year. While I […]

14 Jan 2019

Why You Should Visit Warsaw if You’re a History Freak

Hey there! I’m here to convince you to book your next trip to Warsaw. Simply put, the history of Warsaw is incredible. Last week I spent four days in Warsaw as part of my two week trip to Poland/Germany for the holiday break. It was my first time in Poland during the winter (I usually […]

6 Dec 2018

Dealing with Depression: 3 Things to Remember

Depression is a fickle, heavy, but ultimately tameable beast. As many times as I have talked about depression on my blog, it’s important to repeat that you aren’t your depression. You are bigger, bigger and capable of so much more than what your depression allows you to believe. Depression is hard to define, and in […]

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Hi my name is Natalie and this is my mental health page!

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11 May 2020

10 ways to overcome depression

10 Ways to overcome depression – a mental health blog

Hi everyone! Today’s topic: ways to overcome depression. For the past few months in Spain, I’ve been working, traveling, and focusing on my future by studying for my LSAT. However, as exciting as the future can be, I want to reflect on the past and how far I’ve come. Learning how to manage my depression made it possible for me to be where I am today. My journey to recovery was a whole lot of trial and error. Using these experiences, I want to help others discover new ways to manage their mental health. These tips are useful in managing depression, but they can also be applied to other mental health illnesses like anxiety. Below, I listed the top 10 ways to overcome depression and how I stayed on track during my journey towards recovery!

10 Ways to Overcome Depression

1. See a therapist.

Showing up at my university’s clinic was the first step I took towards recovery. It was the first time that I reached out for help. This step helped me come to terms with the fact that I couldn’t deal with my depression alone. Some people, like those who see a psychologist for years while depressed, could argue that the therapy visits don’t help. However, I personally consider this an important step towards acknowledging your mental illness. Therapy helps you get into that ‘warrior recovery mode’ – a mentality that you don’t accept your current mental state and are willing to let others help you fight it. In addition, talking to someone helps you uncover realizations about yourself that you might of not seen otherwise. In therapy, you can share your thoughts, both the good and the bad, in a safe environment.

If you need help finding a therapist, click here.

2. If you don’t know where to start, do the opposite of what you’re used to.

When I finally decided to take action and deal with my depression, I didn’t know where to begin. I was severely depressed for more than four years and couldn’t imagine life without it. Suffering from depression during your teenage years brings an especially unique challenge: it interferes with your development. During these years you grow and change the most (physically and mentally). However, depression can hinder the process of discovering who you are and who you want to be. By the time I found myself in college, depression was so engrained into who I was and who I though that I was. I didn’t know how to separate from myself and who I was without it. All I knew what that I didn’t want to be the person who I was with depression and so I decided to do and be the opposite.

What did this mean? It meant to stop listening to my depression. Even though my depression told me that I didn’t deserve to feel good because I allowed my depression to happen, I was to make myself feel good. I went out of my way to express my sense of fashion and to dress to feel nice. I made sure to do my make up more often to feel pretty. Contrary to what my depression told me, I did deserve to feel good about myself. I deserved all the things that my depression denied me.

Of all the ways to overcome depression, this might be the hardest habit to adapt. Fight your instincts and do what you know that you must.

3. Set small goals.

When tackling something as complicated as depression, it’s so important to cherish and celebrate the small victories. There will be times that you relapse or let depression get the best of you. When this happens (and it will!), you must not let those disappointments destroy you mentally. Set and complete daily goals. Goals like making the bed, reading for an hour, or completing small errands helps us feel in control and positive. Also setting long term goals such as getting an A on the class, finishing a book, or getting a good LSAT score, help us work towards something bigger yet feasible.

4. Get a support system and trust it.

As you progress through recovery, you’ll realize that it’s a cycle of ups and down. More than once, you’ll relapse and find it easier and comforting to let your depression take the reins; DON’T. Our ultimate goal is to fight back for control. However, sometimes you won’t have the energy to fight relapses. In moments like these, it’s important to have a support system to reach out to. Your support system should be people who care about you – your family, friends, mentors – who are a part of your recovery journey. Trust that they care and will help you feel better and support you. Trust them to motivate you to get back up and fight your mental illness.

5. Find a hobby.

Hobbies are important. They help you create (whether its intangible or tangible) and reminds you that you are capable of beautiful things. They give you a sense of identity and comfort, especially as you deal with the ups and downs of depression.

6. Exercise.

Exercise played one of the most important roles in my personal journey. Even now, I continue to go to the gym 4-5 times a week for mental clarity. Beyond the physical benefits of exercising, just an hour at the gym leaves me focused and boosts my confidence in tackling my day and goals. It’s no secret that exercise helps with the release of endorphins, a chemical that helps relieve pain and stress. I strongly encourage you to take advantage of this phenomenon! Even on days when I’m tired or down, just 30 minutes of weight training or cardio makes a world of a difference in my attitude.

7. Travel by yourself.

There’s no better way to learn about yourself than to spend some quality alone time. Solo traveling gives you the perfect opportunity to make decisions entirely on your own, to wander, and to explore. I treasure my study abroad experience in Buenos Aires during college so much for this reason. It played such a vital role in helping me learn who I was. Traveling through Patagonia in southern Argentina and experiencing the Atacama Desert in northern Chile reminded me how beautiful the world is and how life is worth living. Figuring out my travel plans and meeting so travelers from all across the world taught me how capable I was and how much I could learn from other people.

Discovering who you are is one of the most beautiful parts of life. Traveling is one of the best ways to overcome depression and to learn who you are destined to be. Even if you can’t take a trip out of the country or state, just a day out in the city or on a hike gives you time to reflect and look at the world around you. It’s a refreshing experience to be reminded that the world is full of possibilities and wonders.

8. Don’t give up.

Relapses are inevitable and the faster you accept it, the better off you’ll be. However, the best way to decrease and mitigate the effects of a relapse is to resist it. Obviously, this is easier said than done. But I’ll also be the first to tell you that recovering from depression isn’t easy. Resist the habits of your depression. This means that if you don’t feel like going out and being social, then go out. When you feel like crying in bed all day, dress up, do your make up, and call a friend. The key is to do these things automatically and mechanically. The minute you start to negotiate with yourself is the minute you lose and your depression wins. You won’t win every time. Luckily, over time, it’ll become easier and easier to overcome the depressive urges. Just don’t be too hard on yourself!

9. Fake it till you make it.

Embarking on a journey of recovery doesn’t mean that you know where you’re going. You probably don’t remember what it was like to get up from bed without heavy sadness. Most likely, you can’t imagine going about your day without a struggle or what it’s like to live blissfully in the moment, and that’s okay. Fortunately, you do have a vision of who you aspire to be. Someone happy and without depression controlling your life. With enough effort, you will become this person. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable as you embark on the journey of a better you and ignore the voice of depression. So get dressed and go out for a coffee with a friend. Laugh and socialize even though you might feel like you’re dying on the inside. Remember that you are actually not dying. You are surviving and you are alive. You will live to see that day when you finally make it.

10. Lose the shame, get comfortable with your depression.

As you continue with your journey of managing your depression, you will learn that depression is not you, only a part of you. For some, like myself, depression is something that will always be a part of our lives, and that’s okay. Through recovery, you’ll understand your relationship with depression and that any periods of sadness and heaviness won’t last. Recognize that depression is something that happens to you and don’t let it shame you;. You are strong and beautiful even with your scars.

And there they are folks, my top 10 ways to overcome depression. We are all different and while not all of these tips might not work for you, I’m sure that some will. Read them, chew them over, and see if any resonate with you. There are many ways to overcome depression. What habits did you use? What tips will you try? Let me know what you think!

(Republished from January 21, 2018)

Your’s truly,

6 May 2020

Living under lockdown in Spain during COVID-19

Before I go into the specifics of Phase 0 and Spain’s plans going forward, I want to start with how we got here. Our transition into a national lockdown seemed sudden and abrupt. One weekend, I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday in the city center that was as busy as usual. The following Friday, on March 13rd, most bars and restaurants had voluntarily shut down in fear of COVID-19. By that Monday, we were in a state-mandated lockdown.

Like most countries (especially western countries) Spain was slow to react to the virus. While we did sympathize with what was happening in China, it was impossible to imagine it happening here. In Southern Spain, better known as the Costa del Sol, basking in sunshine and enjoying a glass of wine on a terrace was a way of life. It was nearly impossible to imagine that COVID-19 could take this away. However, the seriousness of COVID-19 was quickly intensified with the glooming situation in Italy and Trump’s sudden European travel ban.

On the night of March 11th, Trump made sudden travel restrictions from Europe. The ban was to set into affect that Friday and it prohibited people from flying in from the Schengen section of Europe for 30 days. Luckily, the ban didn’t affect U.S. citizens and their families. Nevertheless, the surprise was met with anger and confusion, especially from the European Union. As one EU diplomat said, ” [the pandemic] requires cooperation rather than unilateral action”. Seeing that Europe is considered an ally to the United States, the fact that Trump limited travel set a serious tone for COVID-19 situation.

Coincidentally, I planned to travel to Miami Thursday morning, the morning after Trump’s announcement. Waking up to the news, I made the last minute decision to not go on my flight. For the past 2 weeks I was sick and congested. While I felt fine that morning, I was still very much congested and I worried about being potentially quarantined for sounding sick. (Knowing what we know now about the coronavirus, I would say that it was highly unlikely that I had it. While I did have a fever at one point, I suffered from congestion and not respiratory problems. However, I did lose my sense of taste and smell for a little while. Was I sick or was I not? Perhaps one day, with antibody testing, we shall find out.)

At the same time, it quickly became apparent that Italy couldn’t contain the virus. Spain and Italy are similar in a lot of ways. We share a similar culture of living to enjoy live and Andalusia can be closely compared to Southern Italy. Italy went into national lockdown on March 11th and Italians were forced to stay inside. The coronavirus ravaged both their healthcare system and their way of life. Spanish people soon came to terms that their country and lifestyle were not immune against the virus.

The day after the European travel ban, the Andalusian government had an emergency meeting and announced that schools would shut down Monday. The University of Malaga, which was experiencing weeks of sanitation worker protests, shut down the next day. On Saturday, the Spanish Government announced that a national lockdown would be set in place. The lockdown, which was strictly and legally enforced, spanned 7 weeks.

What did being under lockdown in Spain during COVID-19 mean for us?

The Spanish Government made forceful decisions to combat COVID-19. During the lockdown, we were unable to go outside without reason. In my case, I was allowed to go out only for groceries or to get medicine from the pharmacy. The Spanish police were authorized to fine and even arrest people who did not have a valid reason for being outdoors. Fines could start at 600 euros and go up to 30,000 euros.

The lockdown was challenging. In a twisted turn of luck, Malaga, a city known for its year round sunshine, experienced on-and-off rain during the first month of quarantine. There is not much to do in Malaga when it rains, so it was easier to come to terms with the lockdown when there was bad weather. However, to be forced to sit inside was truly a mental test. As someone who enjoys taking walks and exercise for the good of mental health, I found these restrictions challenging. Luckily, I still have sessions with my therapist from BetterHelp, an online counseling service.

The children are freed.

On April 8th, the president announced that children would be allowed to go outside from the 26th of April. No one could argue that staying inside for so long has a positive impact on child development. That Saturday morning, children under the age of 14 filled the streets. To hear the sound of children that day, was an odd sense a relief. While in normal conditions it could be labeled as annoying to hear children yelling or laughing, it was now a comforting and familiar sound. Soon enough it was announced that if the number of COVID-19 cases continued to decrease, everyone else would be allowed outside to exercise too.

We get to exercise.

On May 2nd, we were finally allowed to go outside for some exercise. For 7 weeks, we were confined to our homes, unable to freely go out for some fresh air. In order to avoid crowds of people, the Spanish government made a timetable for when what age group could go out. This was also to protect the most vulnerable population, the elderly. From 6AM, people were out enjoying the fresh air. The city and its coast has once again become alive. I was super excited to go out and enjoy a walk along the beach, a walk I had done so many times before. However, taking extensive walks after 7 weeks of minimal movement, was a shock to my body. My legs have been sore in the most unusual places.

What is Phase 0?

Phase 0 is part of a four part plan to return Spain to a new normal. Each phase should last a minimum of two weeks, so the best case scenario is that Spain would be ‘normal’ again at the end of June. While each Spanish region started Phase 0 on Monday, they will succeed to the next phase depending on their COVID-19 statistics. This could mean that some regions finish the phases earlier than others. Sur, a Malaga newspaper, published interesting infographics to describe the changes in every Phase:

Given how difficult it is to predict the development of COVID-19 and the effectiveness of government action, it’s hard to say how quickly we will transition through these phases. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the Spanish response to the pandemic. For the most part, Spaniards listened to government and didn’t resist the lockdown (that was extended 3 times)! Living under lockdown in Spain during COVID-19 was by no means easy, but we did it for the public good. We were, and continue to be, resilient and strong through these difficult and uncertain times. Being able to smell the fresh sea air is a reminder that the worst is over. Now, we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Your’s truly,

27 Apr 2020

The Importance of Combatting Loneliness during the COVID-19 Era

The coronavirus epidemic is undeniably challenging our mental health. Lockdowns and social-distancing change the way we socialize and restrict us from seeing our friends and family. We’re unable to go out for dinner, socialize at the bar, or join a family gathering. Social relationships enrich and give meaning to our lives. The lack of these social interaction can take an emotional and physical toll on our body. As we are now mandated to shelter in place, we struggle with the inability to see and interact with people. Combatting loneliness during the COVID-19 era is more important than ever.

My renewed interest on the topic of loneliness started with an NPR podcast I listened to a few days ago. It was an interview with Vivek Murthy, the 19th Surgeon General of the United States. As Surgeon General, he traveled the country and discovered the national presence of loneliness. He recently published a book about the topic, “Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World”. To see that one of the top U.S. health officials now studies the implications of loneliness, highlights the importance of addressing the issue.

Fun Fact: The U.K. is incredibly proactive in addressing mental health issues and loneliness. In 2018, the U.K. set up the Ministry of Loneliness to tackle loneliness. The Ministry has a broad range of projects and public campaigns to encourage social connection, de-stigmatize loneliness, and collect better research. In combatting loneliness during the COVID-era, the U.K. revitalized its June 2019 campaign, “Lets Talk Loneliness”. In addition, funding has been set aside for the cause. National loneliness organizations will receive £5 million of aid to continue their mission. Also, small organizations that help people stay connected in local communities are given priority status to receive money from a £750 million package created to support charities.

Like various mental health illnesses, I believe that there is stigma around admitting to feeling lonely. With all the social media in our lives, ‘we are more connected than ever’. Distance is no longer barrier and we can send instant messages with a click of the finger. How can we be lonely when we have so many ways to connect? And yet, loneliness is on the rise. In January 2020, a study found that three in five americans feel lonely – an 18% increase since 2018. Does sending direct messages to friends fulfill our social needs to the same extent as physical interactions? Evidently not.

Loneliness is not a recent phenomenon. Like most of our behaviors and bodily/emotional responses, loneliness has a biological purpose. Murthy explains that as hunters and gatherers, humans learned to rely on each other for survival. Being separated from the group caused an immediate stress response. The stress was a biological signal to express the importance of returning to the group and ensure survival. Like our ancestors, if [feel that] we are not part of a community, this stress signal sets in. If this stress persists too long, it has detrimental effects. This long term stress is what we call chronic loneliness.

What is chronic loneliness? Loneliness is a negative feeling that arises when our social needs are not met. If this feeling persists for a long time, it can have negative impacts on our well-being.

There is consistent research that social isolation and loneliness negatively affect our cardiovascular system and our mental health. Multiple studies show a link between loneliness and mortality. Also, an interesting study was conducted that assessed the affects of loneliness by age groups. The effects (shown in the chart below) can overlap ages and/or be unique to a specific age group.

https://royalsocietypublishing.org/doi/10.1098/rstb.2014.0114#d3e318

This table is shared in the study done by Louise C. Hawkley and John P. Capitanio called “Perceived social isolation, evolutionary fitness and health outcomes: a lifespan approach”.

Both in ancient times and now, social interactions allow us to feel safe and thrive. As humans, we are most happy when we feel that the quantity and quality of our social needs are met. Thus, it is important that we pay attention to our social relationships, especially now.

What to do to combat loneliness:

Reach out to friends and family. By taking away our ability to see friends and friends, the pandemic exposed how important social interactions are in our lives. The current situation gives most of us a lot more time. We can use this time to reconnect with friends that we haven’t talked to in ages. This is an opportunity to increase the quantity and/or quality of our social relationships.
Take the time to video call your friends and family, even if for just 5 minutes. It isn’t fulfilling enough to send messages. Direct messages don’t involve facial cues, and other nonverbal forms of communication that are important for bonding.
Send physical letters and/or postcards. The physical act of buying stamps and writing a letter can produce a happy and nostalgic feeling. As much as you will feel happy to send a letter, the receiver will be equally happy. Nothing brings happiness like finding a letter for you in the mailbox. (Also, by buying stamps and send letters, we help support the U.S. Postal Service! A system that we often take for granted that has been hit especially hard by the pandemic).
Be kind to yourself. Recognize the current time as an emotionally taxing time that can affect productivity levels. Current conditions make it difficult for us to thrive. Recognize that you aren’t the only one struggling during this time.

Our mental health is being put to the test. Luckily, lockdowns and shelter in place orders won’t last forever. However, even after the COVID-19 pandemic, loneliness will continue to exist and be a national issue. Therefore it’s important that we pay attention to and nurture our relationships with family and friends. Our social relationships are key to mental health!

Your’s truly,

21 Apr 2020

Self-forgiveness: 5 things to remember

Depression is frustrating. Why? Unlike a broken arm, depression is an internal battle, and you’re its only witness. There’s no one there to validate your illness and there’s no physical evidence to prove that you’re sick. To make matters worse, depression doesn’t have a single set of symptoms. Typical symptoms associated with depression, like being constantly sad, exhausted, and unmotivated, are unique to each and every one of us. It’s difficult and frustrating to fight a battle that even you, don’t fully understand. In the midst of this frustration, we must practice self-forgiveness.

In the pits of my depression, I had a lot of anger and hate towards myself: If I am the only one that controls what goes on in my head, why do I choose to be miserable? Am I crazy? Am I making this up? Am I just lazy? In a twisted way, I convinced myself that because I was unable to fight off my depression,I deserved it.

Once I truly recognized the relationship between hate/anger and self-forgiveness, it was as though I found an important piece of the puzzle. If I was going to commit to recovery, I had to understand that mastering self-forgiveness was not an option, it was mandatory.

How to forgive yourself:

You are trying, and that’s what matters. – The path to success is not a straight line. It involves ups and downs, stumbles and falls, and out-right walls cemented directly on your path. No successful person would be anywhere in life if they gave up. Recovery from depression is like any path. Success requires commitment. Commit to recovery. There will be times when you want to give up and call it quits, and that’s okay. Anyone who’s struggled with depression has been there, frustrated with inputting so much effort and seeing such little results mentally. The most important thing is to keep on pushing. Never letting your frustration get the best of you.
Mistakes are mistakes and failures are lessons. – No one gets anywhere without making mistakes; how would you learn otherwise? The key thing is to recognize a mistake for what it is – unintentional. So accept your mistakes as a learning experience: an experience that helps you change for the better. Yes you can see mistakes as failures, but you can also see them as lessons. No one has gotten anywhere in life by avoiding failure. Just like you can’t except to create a successful business from day one, don’t expect to be able to manage your depression with a snap of a finger.
Cherish the small victories. – Depression doesn’t go away because you’ve decided that its time to go has come. Depression, especially long term depression, becomes habitual. Its symptoms become engrained into who you are as a person and its difficult to remember who you were before your mental illness. Battling depression requires you to retrain your mind and resist the toxic manners that you’ve lived with for so long. As a result, rewiring your brain takes time and happens slowly. Focus on being better than you were yesterday and eventually you will realize the changes.
Do not compare yourself to others. – We are all on our own paths to happiness and success. All of us come from different up-bringings and have faced different hardships. Someone suffering with a mental illness knows as well as anyone that what’s on the surface is not representative of what’s inside. Especially with social media, which is highly edited, it’s easy to believe that others live a life of peaches and roses . Focus on your personal victories and being a better than the person you were yesterday.
Adapt the mindset that you are on a constant path towards self-improvement. – Happiness is a journey, not a destination. If you begin to look at your life as a never-ending journey, it will be easier to accept that you will make mistakes. You cannot get through the journey of life without making mistakes. These mistakes aren’t there to make you stop your journey. They’re meant to make you grow and mold you in to a better person. To not make any mistakes is to not make any progress.

Self-forgiveness is important; with or without depression, self-forgiveness is necessary in order to have a healthy relationship with yourself. I hope these five steps help bring you step closer to self-love!

Here’s my story dealing with depression.

(Originally posted on March 27, 2017. Updated on April 21, 2020.)

Your’s truly,

3 Jan 2020

Writing About Depression

I created my blog was to raise mental health awareness by writing about depression. In this blog, I share my personal experiences with mental health and offer my thoughts on various issues through a mental health lens. Despite all my posts and writing about depression, I haven’t really posted as much as I’d would like to on my blog. The reasons for this is (1) I have pretty busy (with life and the LSAT!) and (2) the difficulty in writing about a complex topic like mental health.

I don’t think depression ever leaves a person. You overcome depression by learning how to manage it. However, that doesn’t mean that depression will never affect you again. In my case, my depression remains a little voice in the back of my head that occasionally comes out to haunt me *dundundunnn* and makes me question my overall recovery from depression. When this happens, the voice questions my ‘credentials’ to write about the subject and my attempt to empower others.

It’s a voice that tells me that it’s silly to try to break away from my depression, convincing me that I will always be shackled down by its chains. “Hey lil mama“, it whispers in my ears, “I’ve been around for years, don’t think that you’re done with me“. It sometimes mocks me for trying to help and empower others. It likes to point out the irony in writing about depression to inspire others while its shadow looms over me.

And yet… here I am thriving.

Depression thrives on self-doubt and it will always try to come back from the dead. It will do what it can to convince you that you are your mental illness. While our mental health illness may be something we deal with forever, we can minimize its power and influence. We have the power to make it so small, that on most days, our illness is nothing but an afterthought.

What I have realized these past few months is that I must take this voice for what it is: a voice. A voice’s power is limited by the amount of power you chose to give it. Likewise, a voice has absolutely no power to do anything, unless it successfully convinces you to act out on its behalf. We must treat depression and our mental illnesses as a voice. Nothing more and nothing less.

And so I throw a peace sign and say, “watch me do my thing” to the little voice that so desperately tries to retain the power that it once had over me. Writing about depression reminds me of who I once was and how much I have grown. With these lessons and experiences I have come out on top.

Your’s truly,

26 Oct 2019

Studying for the LSAT: How I stayed motivated

As I mentioned in my earlier post, I have accepted and deferred my admissions to Washington University School of Law in St. Louis. While WashU was never on my radar, I applied because I received a waiver fee and had read about WashU’s generous scholarships. Amazingly, when I was accepted to their law school, WashU also awarded me a full ride – something that would have never been possible without my high LSAT score. Studying for the LSAT for 1.5 years was not easy but I don’t regret it. Without this extra year, I would have never gotten accepted to T20 law schools nor would have been offered full scholarships. An extra year of studying in exchange for saving hundreds of thousands in loans? Not bad!

In this post I want to focus on how I managed to stay motivated, because let’s face it, studying for the LSAT is hard. Studying for any standardized test is hard.

These tests, like the LSAT, GMAT, GRE, MCAT, are also costly. A 5-week Kaplan LSAT Prep Course can cost you at least $1,190 and registering for the LSAT costs $180. Personally, I have probably spent around $1,100 on LSAT-related things alone. In addition to the monetary cost, standardized tests require a lot of emotional energy and time. Most people don’t have the luxury of solely studying for an exam – they are either in school or working. For this reason, I decided to work and live abroad in Spain while studying for the LSAT – my contract only required me to work 12 hours a week! To maximize your changes of scoring well on a standardized test, you must commit to preparing for it.

However, to stay committed, you need motivation. But how do you stay motivated? Motivation comes from the inside. Nobody can make you put in work and effort into something if you don’t want to. Motivation requires you to see a bigger purpose in whatever you do.

So how did I manage to stay motivated to study for the LSAT so many months?

Personally, by the end of my senior year, I knew that law school was for me. After taking a Constitutional Law class at FIU my senior year and visiting some law schools (ASU Law and UM Law), I was 100% sold on the idea of law. While the written law is black and white, its interpretation isn’t and I love this ‘gray’ area. There is not right vs wrong way to understand the law, only which interpretation is argued and defended better.

Applying to law school requires several things: the general application, transcript, LSAT score, letters of recommendations, personal statement, resume, and optional supplemental essays requested by individual law schools. By far, the most important components of the application are the quantitative elements: the GPA and LSAT score. GPA is something that can only be controlled while still at school. By the time I was set on law school, I had already graduated from FIU and my GPA was set in stone; I couldn’t change my GPA. However, my LSAT score was a blank slate – it was completely up to me and entirely in my control. Where I could/couldn’t go to law school would depend on my LSAT. Knowing the power of my LSAT score to influence my future didn’t intimidate me, it empowered me.

While in Granada, studying for the LSAT was my number one priority. It meant that for the most part, my life worked around my studying sessions. This didn’t mean that I spent all of my waking days studying; I practiced quality over quantity. I was motivated to study because I was empowered by the power I had to influence my future. However, as someone who has a history of depression, I knew that my depressive swings could come in the way of my motivation.

So, in order to be successful at my number one priority, I needed my mental health to be 110%. To do this:

1. I went to the gym 4/5 times a week. Exercising has always been fundamental in helping me manage depression and clearing my head. In Granada, I generally went to the gym straight after work. Even when I didn’t feel like going to the gym (whether it was because I was having a bad day or just feeling lazy) I still showed up and maintained the habit of going to the gym.

2. I ate healthier. Contrary to the produce available in the United States, fresh fruits and vegetables are noticeably cheaper than processed food in Spain. I took advantage of this and usually meal-prepped salads and fruits salads to be read to eat.

3. I knew my excuses. As humans, we’re incredibly good at finessing our way out of things we don’t really want to do. I, for one, try to convince myself that I can’t workout if I feel hungry because ‘I don’t have enough energy’. To counter this self-made argument, I grew accustomed to eating more often and carrying around snacks (like fruit salads, granola bars, and yogurts).

Moral of the story: don’t finesse your way out of things you know that you need to do. Develop habits that ignore these inner excuses. Ignore the voice that’s giving you excuses and DON’T negotiate with it.

4. I did something social at least 1-2x a week. Based on my experiences with learning to manage my depression, I noticed a correlation between my mental state deteriorating and growing anti-social. As a result, I made an effort to go out and socialize weekly.

5. I often took the time to explore Granada. As important as it is to focus on the future, never forget to live in the present. I wanted to constantly remind myself how of lucky I was to live in Granada, a picturesque city with a colorful history. I made sure to take advantage of free walking tours, museums, the different neighborhoods, and trying different restaurants.

Unsurprisingly, sometimes I failed at doing the things I needed to do for my mental health. However, knowing that I had several safeguards in place for my mental health meant that it was okay if one or two of them fell through.

Unavoidably, there were times when I didn’t want to do anything at all. In due time I learned to not beat myself up over the lack of productivity during my depressive swings. In these situations I compromised with myself: I wouldn’t look at LSAT material for 2-3 days and instead did others things like explore, read, or just got out of the house. I tried to avoid Netflix, which made me feel stagnant and lazy. I’d get back into my LSAT mode by doing a section a day until I finally got back into rhythm. Patience and persistency are key. It’s important to be kind to yourself – don’t push yourself too hard but never lose sight of your goal.

I reminded myself daily that I wanted to achieve the best LSAT score I could possibly get. Studying for the LSAT while dealing with a mental health issue is hard but not impossible. It just requires a little more grit and knowing yourself. Ultimately, it comes down to how bad you want it. Remind yourself what you’re doing and why you’re doing it.

Studying for the LSAT was not a breeze, but it was certainly worth it!

Your’s truly,

31 Aug 2019

My Review on Betterhelp – an online counseling service

Hi there!

A lot has changed and happened in the past few months. Between making life changing decisions and rearranging my personal priorities (all of which I’ll get into in my future posts), I have been MIA on my blog. After so many months of LSAT and law school preparation, I needed to decide where and when I’ll go to law school. After a lot of back and forth and soul-searching, I decided to accept my admission to Washington University School of Law at St. Louis. However, I wasn’t ready to leave Spain this past summer to start the next chapter of my life. In a fairly last minute decision, I made up my mind to defer my admissions and spend another year in Málaga.

Besides having the support of friends and family during this time, I was lucky enough to see a therapist through BetterHelp – an online counseling service that allows you to have therapy sessions online. As someone who travels a lot, I immediately recognized the appeal of Betterhelp – it was convenient. Traditional therapy requires you to be settled down so that you can maintain a consistent relationship with your therapist. The last time I saw a therapist was during my time at Florida International University – from the spring semester of my freshman year to the end of my junior year. After that, I didn’t bother looking for another therapist, especially when I moved to Spain. While I had health insurance in Spain, I didn’t want to speak to a therapist in Spanish nor was I highly motivated to find and pay for an English-speaking therapist. It wasn’t until Betterhelp reached out to me as mental health blogger and shared their services that I went back to therapy.

How does Betterhelp work?

My first step with Betterhelp was filling out a questionnaire about my mental health. It was primarily multiple choice with a written part to write about myself and my struggle/history with mental health. Once I completed this, Betterhelp matched me with a therapist. Betterhelp sent my future therapist my information and she later reached out to me. She gave me access to a calendar to set an appointment. Due to a difference in time zone, none of my therapist’s available times worked for me. Fortunately, I worked with my therapist to find a time that worked for the both of us.

It could happen that the therapist you’re matched with doesn’t work for you. If you don’t like your therapist or don’t find your sessions not helpful, Betterhelp encourages you to let them know so that they can pair you up with someone else. Therapy is a personal experience and our journeys are unique, so it is totally okay to want a therapist that makes you feel comfortable.

What my Betterhelp account screen looks like!

My personal experience?

I entered my first session with my therapist with some suspicion. I think most people are more guarded when meeting with a counselor, a person who is paid to listen to our problems. However, I think speaking to a stranger about my personal issues via webcam seems less intimate and personal. Luckily, I warmed up to my therapist within the first two/three sessions. Our discussions were casual; it felt as if I was speaking to a friend and perhaps it was easier than speaking to a friend, knowing that as a paid professional, she wasn’t burdened by listening to my issues. She asked a lot about my childhood and my relationship with my parents, guided by the overall belief that our childhood experiences, despite how minor they seem, greatly influence how we currently act and think. Overall, my Betterhelp therapist helped me tap into my subconscious and provide insights that I wouldn’t have realized otherwise.

My final thoughts…

Betterhelp is an amazing concept. While I was lucky enough to try Betterhelp for free as a mental health blogger, I truly see the value and potential for Betterhelp to help thousands of people. It allows you to continue therapy regardless of where you are in the world, so there’s no excuse not to go to therapy! With more than 3,000 therapists partnered with Betterhelp, I’m confident that anyone can find a therapist that works for them. Not only do you have video sessions with your counselor, but you can also write to them at anytime through an online chatroom. 24/7 accessibility allows you to access your therapist for when you need him/her the most. It also allows you to change therapy session times in case anything pops up.

While Betterhelp is pricey, there is no price that can be put on mental health. The value of recovery and having someone help you along the way is invaluable. And the possibilities of leading a healthier life is worth it.

Pricing for BetterHelp is fluid. It costs between $35-$65 a week, billed monthly. This price varies by location which includes unlimited messaging, which compares to the $75-$125 per session cost of a typical counselor.

However, thanks in part to a partnership with Betterhelp, I can give my readers a one week free trial through this link!!!

I highly recommend taking advantage of the 7-day trial to know if Betterhelp works for you. It certainly works with my lifestyle and helps me keep up with my mental health. If you have any questions please let me know!

Your’s truly,

7 Mar 2019

My second year in Spain as an Auxiliar, Malaga Edition

Hi there!

As some of you know, last year I worked as an English Language Assistant (or an Auxiliar) in Granada, Spain. I was living in Granada for nine months, between September and June. From the beginning of my stay in Granada, I knew that I’d be delaying law school for another year. While I loved working in Granada and fell in love with the city itself, I ultimately opted to leave the city. I decided to continue working as an Auxiliar, but in a different Spanish city: Malaga.

Where is Malaga?

Malaga is only 1.5 hour car ride south of Granada. It’s a large coastal city that sits on Spain’s ‘Costa de Sol’. Known for it warm weather and beaches, Malaga is a popular destination for both expats and summer tourists. I arrived to Malaga in late September, and even then, I was able to enjoy beach weather up until the end of October. Like Granada, Malaga has a rich history and can be dating back to 770 BC when it was established by the Phoenicians. (Malaga is one of the oldest cities in the world – more than 2,800 years old!)

The view from my balcony!

Where do I work?

Unlike in Granada, where I worked in a high school in a nearby town, I’m currently an Auxiliar for two different primary schools in the Huelin neighborhood of Malaga. I work at one school on Mondays and Thursdays, and at the other school on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. In both schools I mainly work in first, second, and third grade classes (with students aged 6 to 9) during the social and natural science lessons. The obvious downside to working in two schools is not being completely submersed in one school community. However, its been an educational and interesting experience to compare and contrast two public primary schools. Also, the teachers and students in both schools are wonderful!

How do I like it so far?

My experience in Malaga has been a blast! While I miss Granada, I’m glad I made the decision to move here. I have many good friends and my school schedule is organized a lot better than my previous one in Granada. I live a few minutes from the beach, so I love taking walks or sitting down for a coffee along the coast. I also signed up to a nearby gym that overlooks the water – so even working out isn’t that bad! One thing I definitely do not miss is Granada’s icy winter. Due to its location under the Sierra Nevada Mountains, Granada had a uniquely intense winter, unlike other cities in Andalusia. Thanks to the Mediterranean Sea, Malaga’s climate is fairly regulated, with winters unlikely to dip below 50F and with summers characterized by a permanent breeze.

Not only do I have the luxury of having the beach so close by, but I also live a 10 minute train ride from Malaga Airport. It’s the fourth biggest airport in Spain and as a result, it’s easy for me to snag great airfare deals. (Last month, I flew to Barcelona for the weekend for 25 euros roundtrip!)

Plans for next year?

After more than a year of studying for the LSAT, the plan is to finally go to law school this upcoming fall. While I’m still waiting to hear back from most law schools that I’ve applied to, I can say with 99% confidence that I will return back to the United States this summer. Ideally, I’d love to study law in NYC, but that remains to be seen. Once I get back all my acceptances/rejections and financial aid packages, I’ll be able to make an educated decision!

(If you want to read more about my experiences and advice when it comes to LSAT-studying, click here.)

For more on my time in Malaga and travels in Spain, stay tuned!

Your’s truly,

14 Jan 2019

Why You Should Visit Warsaw if You’re a History Freak

Hey there!

I’m here to convince you to book your next trip to Warsaw. Simply put, the history of Warsaw is incredible. Last week I spent four days in Warsaw as part of my two week trip to Poland/Germany for the holiday break. It was my first time in Poland during the winter (I usually go for the summers.) Despite the cold and short days, the trip reminded me how much I loved the capital! Not to mention, how awesome it was to have some Polish food again after living in Spain for a few months. Admittedly not the most aesthetic European city, but its rich history more than makes up for it.

Poland has a rich, albeit turbulent history, and the history of Warsaw is a testament to this. At the end of WWII, the Nazis burned down more than 85% of Poland’s capital, effectively destroying centuries-old history. The reconstruction of Warsaw post-WWII created a mixture of elaborate pre-war reconstruction, war memorials, and the stark buildings symbolic of the communist era.

1. The Old Town

The most touristic and prettiest part of Warsaw is… you guessed it – the Old Town! While the Old Town doesn’t look particularly different from other European Old Towns, it’s important to remember that most of its original construction was destroyed. Therefore, the current Old Town is a reconstruction of what it used to be. The Baroque Church in the center and the Royal Palace are both reconstructs. After the Communist Party came into power after the end of the war, they were reluctant to rebuild the Old Town. The Old Town was a symbol of aristocracy and entirely contradicted the communist ideology that everyone is equal.

After persistent negotiation with the government, the Warsaw Reconstruction Office was created in 1945. The Office worked to recreate the Old Town as it was in the late 18th century with the help of old documents and archives. While the government begrudgingly permitted the formation of the Office, it refused to allocate resources and money to the cause. Poles from around the country both donated money and traveled to the Old Town to help with the reconstruction. Even in my own family, my grandfather donated 100 złoty for the reconstruction of the Royal Castle. The reconstruction continued into the 1960´s and officially ended with the completion of the Royal Castle in 1986. Eventually, after many years, the Square was finally completed. The history behind the historic Square led it to be honored by UNESCO in 2011.

More information about the Warsaw Old Center UNESCO here or for more about the Old Town check out an earlier blog post here.

2. The Warsaw Uprising Memorial

As one of the biggest memorials in Warsaw, it commemorates the Polish soldiers that fought in the Warsaw Uprising in 1944. It was Poland’s last attempt to fight for their liberation, knowing that the Nazis were losing the war and the Red army was closing in from the East. Unfortunately, the Uprising was a failure. The Polish army was poorly equipped and the Soviet Army refused to aid them in the uprise. Stalin directed his army to wait, believing that helping the Poles would threaten his planned expansion of the Communist ideology. The Uprising lasted for 63 days and resulted in the death of 16,000 resistance fighters and 150,000-200,000 civilian deaths. The reason for the high civilian death was because the Nazis would systematically kill Polish civilians in effort to force the insurgents to give up. This was known as the Wola Massacre.

It was not until the end of the Polish Communist regime in 1989 that the Uprising was commemorated by the Polish government. The two part memorial pays a tribute to the bravery and sacrifices of the resistance soldiers. In the first piece, the soldiers are running from under a bridge towards battle. They hold meager weaponry – guns and homemade grenades, highlighting the lack of equipment during the Uprise. The soldiers are all young and in mismatched clothes, reflecting how the Uprising was composed of young and untrained patriots determined to save their country. Unsurprisingly, without proper equipment to match the superiority of the Nazi’s war machinery and the absence of the Soviet Union aid, the Uprising quickly took a bloody turn. The second half of the memorial symbolizes this slow bleeding-out of the Uprising. By then, morals are low and soldiers are simply trying to save themselves by escaping through the sewers. Unfortunately, the Nazis were aware of this and often filled the sewers with poisonous gases, suffocating hundreds of Poles underground.

3. The Warsaw Ghetto Boundary Markers

Probably the greatest atrocities of WWII were the systematic killing of the Jewish people. During WWII, Warsaw housed the largest Jewish Ghetto in Nazi-occupied land. Prior to the war, Warsaw had a Jewish population of more than 350,000, which was about 30% of the city’s population. In October 1940, the Nazis announced the creation of the Ghetto. It was surrounded by a 10 foot wall topped with barbed wire and was about 1.3 square miles (3% of the capital). The Ghetto was overcrowded, unsanitary, and lacked the food necessary t Ghetto wall o feed all of about 400,000 Jews inside. Two uprisings occurred in the Ghetto. After the second uprising in 1943 (which was also the largest single revolt by the Jewish population during WWII), the Nazis leveled the Ghetto by burning it to the ground.

Today, you’ll find parts of the Ghetto wall preserved throughout Warsaw. If you look down, you can also discover a golden line on the floors of Warsaw that represent where the Jewish Ghetto once stood. The orientation of the wording informs people whether or not they are standing inside or outside the former Ghetto. Those that can read the wording would be standing outside out the former Ghetto walls. Those reading the lettering upside down would be inside the Ghetto.

4. The Tchorek Plaques all around the city

All throughout Warsaw, you’ll find metal plaques on the walls. The plaques either: A) honor past buildings that once stood there, B)commemorate battles or C) remember those executed during WWII. The origin of the plaques date back to 1948. A national competition was created to develop a design to commemorate those lost and killed under Nazi occupation. The sculptor Karol Tchorek won the competition and set off the installation of the plaques around the city in the 1950’s (they’d be installed all the way up to the 1980’s). While a lot of the original plaques have been removed (due to the modernization of the city), there are still more than 160 around Warsaw. The plaque are written in Polish, but simply acknowledging a plaque is to acknowledge the history of Warsaw.

For the most part, the plaques honor victims of roundups and the Warsaw Uprising. Roundups (łapanki in Polish), was a widespread Nazi tactic to randomly ambush civilians. By doing so on almost a daily basis, the Nazi instilled fear and deterred resistance among civilians in Warsaw. At the wrong place and at the wrong time, any civilian could be caught between the Nazis vehicles during a roundup. They were either deported to a labor camp, sent to a concentration camp, or executed on the spot. The roundups were worst between 1942-1944, when some sources suggest that anywhere between 400 to 1,000 civilians fell victim to the roundups. And interesting fact: Many of the plaques are in honor of civilians and resistance fighters killed during the Warsaw Uprising of WWII. However, it would be hard to make this inference from the wording of the plaques. This was intentional – after WWII, the Polish government was a puppet of the Soviet Union and used propaganda to downplay the Warsaw Uprising.

5. The FOOD

Okay I will admit that Polish food is available all around Poland and not just Warsaw, but Polish food is GREAT. Beyond regular restaurants, Warsaw is filled with Milk Bars (Bar Mleczny in Polish). These are cheap cafeteria-styled restaurants that were created in the late 1800’s. They became popular after WWII among workers who wanted affordable meals. Some of them are still running and in them, you’ll find traditional and cheap Polish dishes (around 3-5 euros). So wherever you are in Poland, it’s of extreme importance to the soul to try and explore polish cuisine, whether its pierogi, barszcz, kielbasa, or gołąbki! (Personal favorite is potato and cheese pierogi 🙂 )

So there you have it, Warsaw – my favorite history book! While I went over some historical anecdotes and facts briefly, there is so much more intriguing history to be learned. I encourage you to dive into more research about Warsaw and its WWII/Communist history. I hope you have the chance to visit this historical jewel!

Your’s truly,

6 Dec 2018

Dealing with Depression: 3 Things to Remember

Depression is a fickle, heavy, but ultimately tameable beast. As many times as I have talked about depression on my blog, it’s important to repeat that you aren’t your depression. You are bigger, bigger and capable of so much more than what your depression allows you to believe.

Depression is hard to define, and in many cases requires the opinion of a therapist and psychologist, as well as a qualified doctor in order to get you the help you need. However, depression is as much a matter of the soul as it might be an imbalance of mental state. For this reason, keeping these small attitudes can help you on your journey:

Keeping The ‘What If’ Mindset

The ‘what if’ mindset is powerful, and it is especially important to use it in a positive manner. When you’re depressed, it’s easy to think “what if I’m always depressed”, “what if there’s no point in trying”, “what if I’m not strong enough to change”. However, as uncomfortable and unnatural it is to change that line of thinking, we must.

Instead of “what if I’m always depressed”, imagine “what if I can have a life where my depression doesn’t control me? What are all the things that I could accomplish”?

Instead of “what if there’s no point in trying”, think “what if, I commit to recovery and get better”?

Instead of “what if I’m not strong enough to change”, think “what if I am strong enough to do anything I put my mind to”?

The mind is a powerful thing and we are heavily influenced by our thought. While the presence of depression can be out of our control, we still have power to fabricate our thoughts. We have to power to create and imagine optimism. Be consistently optimistic long enough, and it will manifest into a stronger you that is more capable on taking on depression.

Progress Isn’t Linear

Progress is in no way linear. Remember that. No one has reached success without go through hiccups and failures along the way. Don’t think that you can soar into recovery in a linear fashion, you’re only human like the rest of us. Accept that progress will be bumpy and accept these bumps as part of the process, as difficult as they may be.

And now, let me introduce to one of my favorite mental health memes:

Finding Help Where You Can

You don’t have to go through your depression alone. Whether it’s talking to family, friends, a psychologist, confiding with someone is a powerful way to deal with your depression. Even if you don’t want to talk, there are also antidepressants available (however, there are many different types of antidepressants with various side effects, so it’s important to do your research and talk with your doctor to find your best option). Help can also come in the form of simple and noninvasive procedures like TMS treatment for depression. Accepting help is never a sign of weakness and it’s important to be aware of all your options to know what works best for you.

Depression makes life hard, but there are things we can do to make it easier. Commit to a positive mindset towards recovery, trust the process, and don’t be afraid of outside help!

This is a collaborated post.

Your’s truly,

About me

My past posts

Recent Comments:

10 Ways to Overcome Depression

1. See a therapist.

2. If you don’t know where to start, do the opposite of what you’re used to.

3. Set small goals.

4. Get a support system and trust it.

5. Find a hobby.

6. Exercise.

7. Travel by yourself.

8. Don’t give up.

9. Fake it till you make it.

10. Lose the shame, get comfortable with your depression.

What did being under lockdown in Spain during COVID-19 mean for us?

We get to exercise.

What is chronic loneliness? Loneliness is a negative feeling that arises when our social needs are not met. If this feeling persists for a long time, it can have negative impacts on our well-being.

What to do to combat loneliness:

How to forgive yourself:

And yet… here I am thriving.