I created my blog was to raise mental health awareness by writing about depression. In this blog, I share my personal experiences with mental health and offer my thoughts on various issues through a mental health lens. Despite all my posts and writing about depression, I haven’t really posted as much as I’d would like to on my blog. The reasons for this is (1) I have pretty busy (with life and the LSAT!) and (2) the difficulty in writing about a complex topic like mental health.
I don’t think depression ever leaves a person. You overcome depression by learning how to manage it. However, that doesn’t mean that depression will never affect you again. In my case, my depression remains a little voice in the back of my head that occasionally comes out to haunt me *dundundunnn* and makes me question my overall recovery from depression. When this happens, the voice questions my ‘credentials’ to write about the subject and my attempt to empower others.
It’s a voice that tells me that it’s silly to try to break away from my depression, convincing me that I will always be shackled down by its chains. “Hey lil mama“, it whispers in my ears, “I’ve been around for years, don’t think that you’re done with me“. It sometimes mocks me for trying to help and empower others. It likes to point out the irony in writing about depression to inspire others while its shadow looms over me.
And yet… here I am thriving.
Depression thrives on self-doubt and it will always try to come back from the dead. It will do what it can to convince you that you are your mental illness. While our mental health illness may be something we deal with forever, we can minimize its power and influence. We have the power to make it so small, that on most days, our illness is nothing but an afterthought.
What I have realized these past few months is that I must take this voice for what it is: a voice. A voice’s power is limited by the amount of power you chose to give it. Likewise, a voice has absolutely no power to do anything, unless it successfully convinces you to act out on its behalf. We must treat depression and our mental illnesses as a voice. Nothing more and nothing less.
And so I throw a peace sign and say, “watch me do my thing” to the little voice that so desperately tries to retain the power that it once had over me. Writing about depression reminds me of who I once was and how much I have grown. With these lessons and experiences I have come out on top.